Sleep, Sanity, and the Early Days of Motherhood: A Morning with Dr Francesca Brewer
We were absolutely thrilled to welcome members of The Mum Club Kensington & Chelsea to Blue Almonds for a relaxed and insightful morning all about one of the most elusive treasures of new parenthood: sleep.
Our special guest for the event was the brilliant Dr Francesca Brewer — a local Chelsea-based private and NHS GP, founder of The Baby Sleep GP, and a trusted Paediatric Sleep Consultant. With 15 years of medical experience and a deep understanding of the emotional and physical toll of sleep deprivation, Dr Francesca brings both clinical expertise and genuine empathy to her work. She’s also a mum to a six year old, and it was her own journey into motherhood that sparked her passion for helping families find their way back to rest.
Before her daughter was born, she poured over all the available sleep literature and crafted a plan based on science and practicality. That preparation changed everything — giving her confidence, clarity, and calm during those hazy early months. Now, through her work as a sleep consultant, she’s on a mission to give that same sense of empowerment to other parents.
In her talk, Dr Francesca shared game-changing truths about baby sleep, practical guidance for families in the first year, and compassionate reminders that your sleep matters too. Read on for her top tips, science-backed advice, and why improving your baby’s sleep isn’t just about more quiet nights — it’s about long-term wellbeing for your whole family.
Over to Dr Francesca…
Sleep challenges in the first year
Sleep is a topic that we seemingly can’t avoid talking about as parents. It somehow finds its way into so many of our conversations and our plans can often feel dictated by our baby’s nap schedules.
Sleep during a baby’s first year can carry a huge emotional weight for parents. If your baby, and therefore you, are not sleeping well, then that can begin to impact every aspect of parenthood. Because of the emotional weight that is attached to baby sleep, it can be a polarising topic for parents. There are strong opinions both for and against sleep training, but in my opinion there does not need to be such a divide and sleep does not need to be a controversial topic.
The term ‘sleep training’ can be taken to mean many things, however in essence it simply means using a recognised method, of which there are many ranging from very gradual to more structured, to help your baby learn the skill of sleeping in a safe environment, for an appropriate amount of time, based on their individual sleep requirements. Sleep training is a process used to make progress towards more independent sleep, but the method used, the speed at which those changes are made, and the desired endpoint, can vary enormously between families and should always be dictated by you as the parent.
My reason for explaining all of this is because I want parents to know that seeking to improve sleep for your family is not selfish. Sleep is probably the most important thing our bodies need besides food and water. Just because you become a parent this fundamental need for sleep does not disappear. If you are considering taking steps to improve your child’s sleep for the wellbeing of your family, I do not want you to think that this is something to feel guilty about.
Why sleep matters for babies
Sleep is essential for infant health and development. In childhood, sleep supports brain development, memory consolidation, emotional regulation and immune function. Studies have shown that adequate sleep is linked to improved cognitive outcomes and fewer behavioural issues later in childhood. Studies have also shown that children who learn healthy sleep habits early on, are more likely to maintain these throughout childhood.
Why sleep matters for parents
Sleep is also vitally important for the wellbeing of parents. A lack of sleep can have a direct impact on a parent's physical and mental health. Chronic sleep deprivation has been linked to numerous health issues, including heart disease, type 2 diabetes, obesity, and dementia. As new parents, it is of course highly unlikely that these will occur as a result of the short period of disrupted sleep that we experience whilst caring for a newborn, but it is important to highlight the potential role of long term sleep deprivation on our health. Poor sleep is also a risk factor for mental health issues such as anxiety and depression, including postnatal depression and postnatal anxiety.
Sleep deprivation may also make it difficult for us to parent in the way that we would like to. Sleep deprivation reduces our ability to concentrate, empathise, and regulate our emotions. It can also reduce our physical ability and reaction times in hazardous situations. Prioritising sleep is therefore not selfish, it simply enables us to be the best parents that we can be.
My top tips for building healthy sleep habits from the start
- Always follow your country’s safe sleep guidelines. For example, please ensure you always place your baby to sleep on their back, on a firm flat surface with no loose bedding. I recommend consulting the Lullaby Trust’s full sleep safety guidelines for more information.
- Establish a consistent bedtime routine. If it's too difficult or overwhelming in the early days, consider moving towards this at around six weeks.
- Try to encourage day/night differentiation from the very beginning. This helps to encourage longer stretches of sleep during the night and periods of wakefulness during the daytime.
- Try to establish a gentle and flexible daytime routine as soon as you feel comfortable to do so. By paying attention to your baby’s sleep needs and tiredness cues, you are more likely to avoid the difficulties that can be associated with trying to help an overtired or under-tired baby settle to sleep.
- Support your baby using responsive, age-appropriate methods to help them learn to settle themselves without significant input from you as a parent. Start gradually and allow them opportunities to practise this skill with your guidance and support.
- At around 4-6 months your baby’s sleep patterns will mature. This is an exciting time in their development but you may notice that sleep becomes more of a challenge. From around 6 months of age, sleep training methods can be considered if your baby is still struggling with sleep. Prior to this age babies are not considered developmentally ready and formal sleep training would not be recommended.
It’s OK to ask for help
It’s important that we recognise the role that sleep plays in the health and wellbeing of both children and parents. That being said, whilst sleep may not be perfect in your household, if your family’s current sleep situation is working for you, then there is absolutely no need to change it to match anyone else’s ideals. If on the other hand your family’s current sleep situation is not working for you or your baby, it’s ok to ask for help. You should never be made to feel guilty for wanting better sleep for the wellbeing of yourself or your child.
If you do ask for help I want to assure you that this does not mean your only option is to ‘cry it out.’ It can mean using one of a range of possible sleep training methods, which should align with your individual preferences and parenting style, to improve your child’s sleep in order to achieve your family’s individual sleep goals. Remember that everyone’s goals are different.
If you would like to start working on sleep then please know that when it comes to teaching any new behaviour in childhood, the most important factor is consistency. This is just as true for sleep as anything else.
My fundamental tips for improving sleep at all ages are therefore:
- A consistent window for wake up and bedtime each day
- A consistent bedtime routine
- A consistent and safe sleep environment
- A consistent parental response when trying to establish healthy sleep habits.
Final Thoughts
My final point is that I want you to know that sleep in the early years is a long journey. Just because you sleep train your child, or your child is naturally a good sleeper, this does not mean there won’t be bumps in the road along the way. This is entirely normal. You can minimise these by laying good sleep foundations, however it’s unlikely that you will be able to avoid the bumps entirely. Always remember to be kind to yourself during these more challenging periods and know that help is always available if you need it.
